


Adult Talk

by Clover_Thymes



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Coitus Interruptus, F/F, Highlander Hyur Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Kinda shadowbringers spoilers?, M/M, Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Multiple Warriors of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), the sex stuff isn’t explicit but it’s mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:23:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29856666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clover_Thymes/pseuds/Clover_Thymes
Summary: Fellas is it gay to walk in on your co-workers getting it on?? Asking for a friend
Relationships: Urianger Augurelt/Thancred Waters
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Adult Talk

**Author's Note:**

> So, a couple things. 
> 
> 1\. I’m very surprised by the existence of the “Multiple Warriors of Light” tag. Very poggers, saving that information for later.  
> 2\. This is supposed to take place right after the Titania shenanigans in Il Mheg so spoilers for that part of Shadowbringers.  
> 3\. This is tagged as f/f as well as m/m because there’s some implied gay shit going on between the WoLs. Who are both women and very gay. For each other.  
> 4\. Some people might expect this to be a voyeuristic thing, like “oooh girl walks in on two dudes getting it on, it’s like they’re forbidden, hot”, and I’m just gonna say it: no. Mona Sera’cato, Warrior of Light, does not condone the fetishism of gay men. Also she’s super not attracted to either of them.
> 
> Anyway here’s wonderwall

“Hey, Uri, you wouldn’t happen to ha-”

Whatever Mona was about to say was promptly cut off as she quickly closed the door behind her. Twelve preserve, last thing any of them needed was the kids being scarred for life.

Urianger was sitting on the desk off to the left side with Thancred standing between his thighs. Very close between his thighs. And Urianger’s skirt had been bunched around his hips, leaving his lower half completely exposed. Luckily, his leg was in the way so nothing was actually visible, but it didn’t take a genius to put two and two (or in this case, one and one) together and realize what was going on.

Yup. Definitely glad she immediately closed the door.

There was an awkward beat of silence that carried on for what felt like ages, all of them staring at each other. Mona could feel her face flush and one of her ears twitched. She cleared her throat, “Right, um...Minfi was asking about a book you might have, and…she wanted to get it before we headed back to the Crystarium. You wouldn’t happen to have a book called  _ Advent Children _ lying around…?”

“Upstairs, far right bookshelf, third tier,” Urianger responded quickly.

“Right, yup,” she replied just as quick and headed up the stairs, pointedly  _ not _ looking at two of her comrades who she had just interrupted in the middle of coitus. She did  _ not _ think about the rougher edge in Urianger’s voice, the slightest hint of rasp. She did let herself think about how Thancred’s face had turned as red as a blood tomato when she reached up for the book, because that was a pretty funny image.

She grabbed the spine of the book, but a passing thought made her hesitate.

_ How long had this been going on? Was this a thing that developed during their time in the First? Or had this been something that existed long before she joined the Scions? _

_ Just how much had they changed during their stay? Had it really been years for them? What would happen when their souls went back to the Source? _

She also wondered if any pixies had managed to break in during times when they were intimate, but conceded that if they did, they wouldn’t do it again, because he would be fucking  _ furious _ . Maybe she could ask Feo-Ul (Titania, now, she reminded herself) for gossip later.

Regardless, Mona had what she came for, and really didn’t want to take up more of their time. So, like the polite house guest she is, she jumps down from the loft,  _ not  _ looking at Urianger’s crotch; the last thing she needed was the image of his wrinkled penis burned into her eyelids.

She grabbed the door handle, but before she turned it, said, “...Good for you two, by the way.” Not giving them a chance to respond, she slipped out the door and shut it tightly behind her.

Alphinaud, Minfillia, Alisaie, and Vahn were all sitting in the patch of flowers and looked up at her as she strode towards them. “Thanc and Uri are having a bit of an  _ adult only _ talk right now, so they’ll be a bit late,” She lied (well, a white lie), “Here’s your book, Minfi.”

Mona tossed the book to Minfillia, and she caught it effortlessly, her eyes twinkling as she stared at the cover. Alphinaud hummed his acknowledgement, nose buried in his own book. Probably researching more Carbuncle variants. Alisaie just groaned, “We’re almost 18 summers, Mona, you don’t have to keep treating us like children. In fact, I would appreciate it if you stopped.”

“Well, tough shit, nanny goat,” She smirked as she ruffled the girl’s white hair, ignoring her appalled squak, “I’m gonna be treating both like kids for as long as I live. Even when you eventually hit that growth spurt and I have to stand on my toes to reach your heads, you’ll both still be my little goats.”

Alisaie batted her hand out of her hair and Mona just laughed. She headed over to where her chocobo was lying on the grass, enjoying the real sun, and she heard Vahn’s footsteps as the other three carried on with their various other discussions.

“So what were Thancred and Urianger really doing?” Vahn asked when they were sufficiently out of reach of the children.

“Fucking,” Mona replied, rooting through her chocobo saddle bag. She heard Vahn say something like, “Huh. Good for them,” but she didn’t rejoin their group. In fact, she sat down next to Beau, who let out a little chitter when she pet his head. 

Stupid fluttery feelings in her stomach. Was this how Thancred felt when- nope, not going down that path.

**Author's Note:**

> Cam, if you somehow found this because I either gave you the link or we have similar pastimes and I just never knew, uh. Hey? Sorry if I get ya girl Vahn ooc.  
> Also yeah the book was called Advent Children like the Seventh Final Fantasy listen I couldn’t come up with any better ideas


End file.
